IS MARRIAGE GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH?
I was reading a December 14, 2011 Los Angeles Times Newspaper account of results from surveys and studies, and since the results are germane to my practice, I thought I would share with you. No doubt, there are still young people awaiting Christmas Eve to exchange pledges of fidelity and love everlasting, sealed with a kiss and diamond ring the equivalent value of three months salary. Yes, people are still getting married and staying married…for awhile?
But according to one study, the average age of women who are marrying for the first time is 26.5. According to the same study, the average of men who are marrying for the first time is 28.7. According to the Pew Research Center, in 1960 the marriage rate in the United States was 72%; in the present time, the marriage rate in the United States is 51%.
The speculation for the decline in marriages is that people now live together more often, and also, some individuals prefer to remain single. Literature has also speculated, again based upon surveys, that marrieds are healthier overall. The more recent information provided by these same surveys indicate that the gap is narrowing however, and un-marrieds are often as healthy. Contradictory conclusions are gleaned from the National Health Interview Survey which provides that while overall health of the un-marrieds has improved, survival rate for colon cancer patients is greater amongst marrieds. Add to that survey information the 2011 Study of Health Psychology that reported that marriage is good for the heart, and marrieds have a better chance of survival.
In the meantime, the increased rate of divorce that soared in the 1960’s and 1970’s has leveled off but still remains high. From my personal observation as a divorce attorney since 1975, when communication between the couple in a marriage is impaired, there is no way that issues between them can be discussed, and one or both refuse to attend marriage counseling and individual therapy, the physical health of those individuals has to be adversely affected by the stress. In other words, a bad marriage or bad relationship is probably going to increase someone’s blood pressure and impact the party’s survival rate. In a long term, strong marriage or relationship where the parties can communicate and work out their differences and generally look out for each other’s health and welfare, those individuals are going to benefit health wise.
I still remain a romantic notwithstanding my being a general in conducting divorce war battles and battles amongst the unmarried. The Disney concept of the Prince coming for the Princess, the family concept of the Waltons, has been replaced by the Pretty Woman ideal where the guy saves the damsel in distress and the damsel saves the guy right back.
This is the way it should be. If that is a bit idealistic, I do not think so. Rather, it is how a strong relationship should be, with one partner watching out for the other partner. I have seen that behavior amongst animals who are bonded to their mate, and it is human nature as well.
So this holiday season, do not despair. You may be in the throes of divorce. In fact, my office might be handling your case. Nevertheless, there are people excitedly waiting to become engaged, provide that beautiful shimmering ring, and pledge fidelity. For their sake and for yours going forward, I and my wonderful staff wish all of you happiness, the best of health, and love in the coming year. Happy, healthy New Year.
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ALIMONY REFORM ACT OF 2011 SEPTEMBER 27, 2011
On September 26, 2011 Governor Deval Patrick signed into law the Alimony Reform Act of 2011. On September 23, 2011 I attended a seminar sponsored by the Massachusetts Chapter of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and Flaschner Judicial Institute at Suffolk University Law School to learn about the new and unique terms now comprising the word alimony. Alimony is now designated into four separate categories consisting of: General Term Alimony, Rehabilitative Alimony, Reimbursement Alimony, and Transitional Alimony. While these four categories are not foreign under the law, these categories as well as the defined length of time that one can receive or be obligated to pay alimony is unique under the law. Since the early days of Massachusetts incorporation and John Adams’ writing the first alimony statute has such a change in alimony come about in this Commonwealth.
I welcome the opportunity to discuss with you what affect this statute will have upon you. Whether you are currently paying alimony or receiving alimony pursuant to a probate court judgment, or you are currently litigating the issue of alimony, this new law can have an impact upon your situation. If I can be of service to you, please do not hesitate to call me.